50 Reasons Not To Date A Poet


I have to admit, I resemble many of these. I definitely love children’s books and hoard my pens, among other things on the list :).

Originally posted on Betty Generic:


It may sound romantic, but in search of that elusive metaphor, poets can be somewhat  “eccentric.”

  1. If you date a poet everyone will think you are the jerk they are writing about.
  2. You will be the jerk they are writing about.
  3. They have an unnatural affection for book stores and office supply stores.
  4. They have deep conversations with Animals, Clouds, and Grecian Urns.
  5. Excessive use of  “poetry hands.”
  6. Excessive abuse of  “poetic licence.”
  7. Excessive use of  “melancholy.”
  8. Excessive use of  “dramatic emphasis.”
  9. They collect obscure words that have not been in circulation for at least 100 years or more.
  10. They insert these antediluvian words into conversations just to rebel.
  11. They think children’s books are sublime.
  12. They refuse to care where the remote is.
  13. All of their furniture are positioned around windows, for them to stare out for hours at a time.
  14. Your parents will think they are possessed.
  15. They are possessed.
  16. You…

View original 428 more words

Call for Submissions–and this one pays $25 to each contributor!

Check out The Impressment Gang journal… according to their submission page they now pay contributors $25 if accepted:


“We are proud to announce that we have started to pay our contributors the sum of $25. We are working hard to increase this drastically to what we think they should deserve. But right now, it’s all we got.”

Click here to read their submission guidelines.

TIP: To make the most of your time and efforts submitting to magazines and journals, it is important to read what types of work they typically publish, which may mean subscribing or in some cases, reading the samples they provide on their site.

Have you read the book representing your state?

Or, make this a reading list and read yourself across the United States. Brooklyn Magazine recently published this article, complete with map.

It’s no surprise the book selected for Utah is The Executioner’s Song by Norman Mailer. I’ve never read it, but I should. Parts of the movie were filmed only two blocks from my childhood home in Provo, UT. Some of the kids in my neighborhood even got out of school while they were filming in their neighbor’s house. Not to mention, my friend’s mother dated the guy… creepy!


Beautifully done graphics based on iconic poems . . .

Poetic Analytics” by Ali Shapiro posted on Ploughshares back in February are something not to be missed! She gives us well-thought out graphical representations of four well-loved poems, including Sonnet XVIII by Shakespeare, The Red Wheelbarrow by William Carlos Williams, Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night by Dylan Thomas, and of course, one of my all-time favorites, One Art by Elizabeth Bishop.


Breast-giver (a found poem)

This poem was inspired by the beautiful language and voice of a translation by Gayatri Chakravorty Spivak of a story by Mahasveta Devi titled with the same name. (It could also be considered a shape poem). Please consider reading more of these short stories in the collection Breast Stories.

Breast-giver (a found poem)

breast-giver—she creates in the
blind alleys with chapped feet and
large round breasts. Take your wife,
greedy crow, unthinking bull driven by
lust. You eat rice and stolen samosas by
the oil lamp. Countless beings raised a hue
and cry in deepest night. She creates as mother,
pinched skinny even while your flies were
fat. Her capacious bosom, a seething vat
of milk. Her offspring, a better human
material created by devotion, by
mother’s will. I put flowers on
her belly, her languid-hipped
body, her motherhood.

Devi, Mahasveta. “Breast-giver.” Trans. Gayatri Chakravorty Spivak. Breast Stories: 38-45. Print.

breast stories

Call for submissions for Remix, Sculpture, and Mutated poetry . . .

Poetry WTF?! is now accepting submissions for artistic and inventive poetry forms.







Below is the beginning of each form’s definition from their About (click here to see the rest) page:

Remix Poetry

“Remix poetry is the literary equivalent of Youtube remix videos. We take a famous poem or two, throw a few catchphrases into the mix, and out comes Dr. Seuss sounding like Shakespeare. Hurrah!”

Sculpture Poems

Sculpture poems view an existing text, usually a famous poem, as a block of bronze at which to chip away and create a new work of art. In other words, sculpture poetry is created through subtraction.”

Mutated Poetry

“When a poem is transformed into something else, not through mixing or taking away, but by changing something fundamental about it, we may say that it hasmutated. The revolution could be pronounced, or it could be subtle, but the transformation should not be in doubt. At the same time the resulting work’s lineage is traceable.”

Click here to submit!

–Remember, read the guidelines carefully and make sure you are sending your best work that matches what they accept.

–See their Duotrope page here: https://duotrope.com/listing/14641


“All-There-Is” written with only the top 1,000 most used words in the English language . . .

“Mr. Einstein then began to wonder what would happen if he used his space-time idea for the entire All-There-Is.”

This article from Brainpickings gives incredible insight into a must-have book for word nerds! It’s going on my wish list for sure . . .

The Edge of the Sky: An Unusual and Poetic Primer on the Universe Written in the 1,000 Most Common Words in the English Language




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